perhaps, someday
by S.J Carter
Summary: This is the tale of a boy who sweeps minds, a girl who dreams in black and white, salvation, and recollection, all while the Earth feels as if it might be twirling right off its axis.—-KolOc (sequel to 'possibly, maybe')
1. wake up, it's time little girl, wake up

_Le notes_: Hello again! So here I am with the sequel to '_possibly, mayb_e'. I will let it speak for itself (again, it probably won't be too many chapters long because I can't write novel-sized fics, my mind is just too…_jumpy_). But, I still promised you a sequel and I am not one to break my promises! Also, the lyrics for this chapter are from Ryan Star's 'Losing your Memory'

_Summary:_ This is the tale of a boy who sweeps minds, a girl who dreams in black and white, salvation, and recollection, all while the Earth feels as if it might be twirling right off its axis.—-KolOc (sequel to 'possibly, maybe')

**.**

**._.**

**perhaps, someday**

**.**

** ._. **

**i:**

wake up, it's time little girl, wake up,  
just remember who I am in the morning

**.**

**/ / /**

(She doesn't see_ it_ coming).

_"You should consider yourself lucky, Sundara."_

He kisses her.

And it's the most surprising thing to have happened to her all day.

_"My kiss is not just earned by _any_ simple girl."_

His lips feel quite chapped against her smooth and rosy mouth. And they're icy cold too. They warm up quite fast though. At first, he's rough and passionate; weaving his fingers in to her curls and sweeping his tongue over her bottom lip, sucking hard, almost piercing her mouth in the process. Then, he changes the rhythm oh-so suddenly. He becomes all sweet and gentle in a way that she could have never imagined. Because_ this_ is Kol Mikaelson, the guy who's been known as the reckless Original vampire who likes to wreak havoc on Mystic Falls for no good reason. She thinks that it shouldn't be this big thing, because she's been kissed before. But** never** has _it _**ever** felt like _this_.

Even after he lets go, she can still feel her heart fluttering like a humming bird's wings. He doesn't even step away as his breath is still hot on her face. Her eyes remain wide open the entire time. He keeps looking in to her pupils, as if he's waiting for her to answer him. His hands glide down her arms, until he's clasping her by the edge of tiny fingers. At some point, she thinks she feels her heart drop in to her stomach.

Her cheeks flush and she realizes that the last time a boy had made her so speechless was back when she was four years old. He was blonde, blue-eyed, and loved to play house. He smelled like mud and cookies. His name was Joshua.

She could swear that he'd be the last boy to ever make her _this _weak in the knees.

As it turns out, she is wrong.

Because years later, the memory of building sand castles with Joshua, and sharing a peanut butter & jelly sandwich with him during lunch period, all while sparks are flying inside her chest, are replaced. And now, when she feels speechless, there are no more signs of blonde hairs, blue eyes, or the scent of cookies and mud. There is only a wicked smile of pale pink lips, a head of chestnut colored mane, and dark brown irises.

Now, whenever she feels her heart flutter, there is nothing but _Kol_,

_"Ready to go? Darling,"_

—and Joshua fades in to the back of her mind like a long forgotten and forever lost dream.

**.**

**/ / /**

(Sometimes,

—he thinks that he should have given her permission to remember him).

This is what Kol sees:

a wild and reckless showgirl, with invisible sparkles all over her skin, and ghostly stars in her eyes. Concealed & colorless feathers peak out of her hairs, as she is trying to steal his heart with untamed smiles & careless words.

But she hides behind a façade.

_An orphan? How stereotypical._

She is rising with a cover-up confidence that could only be portrayed by a child, too foolish and too naïve, to have yet been stained by the horrors of the supernatural world. Oh, how he realizes he is wrong when he hears her cry in the middle of the nights.

This is what Kol remembers:

She is a girl with a laugh, so sinful and so delicious, that it makes heads turn and jaws drop. A girl with witty remarks and comebacks, arrogance and narcissism that all work as defense mechanisms because really, she is oh-so weak under the mask of strength and bravery.

(do you _pity_ me, Kol?)

(pity is for the weak Sundara, and I am not weak).

This is what Kol sees:

A girl with charcoal colored, licorice stained curls, blowing like wild grass during the summer. Berry-shaded and blood-smeared lips, opening against the ice cold metal of a microphone. Fingers and hands, tangled around the silver colored music stand (so tenderly, so cautiously as if she is holding a lover, a soulmate). Passion is slipping out of her vocal chords as she sings to a crowd of faceless strangers. Hands clap. Drunken men hoot, holler, whistle, and marvel at a girl who sits on a stage. She is under the spotlight, with nothing but a dress (painted with bright cherries and apples) to cover her thin frame. Her voice; sweet as honey and as rich as chocolate & strawberries, as she mimics the tones of Norah Jones and Sarah McLachlan.

Sounding soft, as soft as dough.

This is what Kol knows:

a girl who sings to foreigners on every Wednesday night, at a bar across town, for only so little money and luxurious red wine. He will sit at his table, watch her from a far, and admire her unique rendition of Billie Holiday's _When You're Smiling_.

(_when you're laughing,_

—_the sun comes shining through)_

This is what Kol doesn't tell her:

that he had met her before Niklaus, before her vampirism. He had been saving her for so long, that she hadn't even remembered the first time that it had ever occurred. That on his stay in Denver, while babysitting the innocent Jeremy Gilbert, Kol would get intoxicated at _Maloney's Tavern_. He'd find himself coming back, not for the lovely bartenders, pretty customers, or sweet little drinks. But for a girl, who smells of a wolf, and sings to him like a cardinal bird. Although, at the time, he had just been one of the many faces in the crowd of men who were romanced by her ever so beautiful lovesongs.

_(but when you're crying,_

—_you bring on the rain)_

**.**

**/ / /**

"What a lovely voice you have," Kol says, following her out one night as she exits her show. She turns, heart-shaped head looking over her shoulder in order to meet his gaze. She shivers with fear as right away, she can smell what he is.

_Vampire_. She realizes, looking away from his intoxicatingly beautiful irises. She presumed that he was seeking her for a sip of her wolf-like blood and nothing more.

But running right now, is useless. He's faster than her; he'd definitely catch her and snap her neck. So she offers him a weak smile and a tender "thank you".

After a smirk which made her heart flip, and a step closer to her which made her cheeks flush, Kol is satisfied. Everything is falling in to place, going according to plan. As usual. As always. "A lovely voice for an equally lovely girl," he tells her as she shyly (terrifyingly) tucks in one of her curls behind her left ear. "Only fitting, I suppose." His voice, this time, is closer and more demanding. He is looking to her like a predator would look towards a prey; like a lion would look towards a lamb.

With mouth salivating, licking his lips, and already beginning to taste the dirty-penny-like flavor of her blood. "It's very late, walking_ home_ alone, darling?"

She doesn't recall what a home is anymore. However, it is not like he knows of her poor living conditions as of yet. "It's fine," she simply says, failing to persuade him in the least.

"You sure?" his smile widens: like that of a red carnivorous maw, like that of a merciless devil. "I could offer you a lift," it sounds like a suggestion yet, she knows that it's an order.

She offers him a flinch as his fingers approach her cheek. She's like a dear with a broken leg, trapped and found by her deepest and darkest fear (fantasy). "_It's fine_," again, with the lies, "I would hate to be a burden." It's not exactly what she was planning to say but, when you're _this _frightened (nervous? anxious? aroused?) there really isn't a choice.

His laugh is her answer. "Oh sweetheart," his fingers fall upon her cheek easily this time, with grace and softness that she hadn't expected. "It's no trouble at all." He can hear the _thumpthumpthump _of her heart; fear so becoming and so alluring. Fear that he can practically _taste_ in his mouth.

Delicious. Extravagant. Mouth-watering. And decadent.

"_Trust_ me, why don't you?"

_Never_, she'd say but only to repeat the same mistakes again and again.

"I don't _know_ you," she tells him instead.

He smirks, this time, like a shark about to feed on a bleeding swimmer. "Ah but you will my sweet," he says, fingers cradling her chin, "soon enough."

And in another life, maybe (just maybe) she'd laugh like a hyena and roll her eyes. But tonight, she simply nods and runs off, as fast as her heels can carry her.

**.**

**/ / / **

Then, on every other Wednesday evening, he is there.

As promised.

This time, she sings and never leaves his frightening gaze. Perhaps, back when his existence had been unknown to her, she would look to the crowd as if all she saw was a blank canvas before her eyes, impatiently waiting to be painted upon by her voice. Now, however, it's a different tale; of a boy who knows no boundaries. Nowadays, when she looks to her audience, the snow colored canvas is replaced, until all she sees is _Kol_.

"You've got many regulars," the bar owner tells her, after her latest show. "Perhaps, I should consider hiring you fulltime." He continues, offering her some sort of hope.

A full time job, for her would mean the ability to pay for a roof over her head. And yet, singing every night would mean she'd have to see Kol, seven days a week. She'd live in fear all her life, instead of only being scared only one day a week.

She refuses the offer then, failing to escape the vampire as he finds her after her show. For a second time.

_You again_, she'd say, if he were human or anything close to it. Instead, she merely parts her lips a little as he smirks her way.

"Another smashing performance." He compliments her, awaiting her weak smile. "Care for a drink, my dear?" Perhaps, if she refused him, he'd compel the entire bar to ignore them as he carelessly drank her blood. For this reason alone (or so she thinks), she takes a seat next to him. However, no matter how frightened she had been, she would not push him away as he had tucked a few of her stray curls behind her ears. She bites her lip instead and looks up at him from underneath her long dark lashes.

Kol takes this as encouragement.

"So, what's your poison?" He questions, trying to get more than two words out of her mouth. Though she is as anti-social as ever. Some things never change.

"Anything," she sighs.

And it doesn't take him long to find out that she is quite horrible at holding her liquor.

**.**

**/ / /**

Her mouth is filled with the taste of rum and coke as she is looking to him with nothing but stars in her eyes. The strap of her dress falls, revealing her olive toned shoulder blade. She doesn't even bother pull it back up as she licks her lips.

At this point, he thinks, she is just a woman asking (_begging_) to be ravished.

"Tell me your secrets." He says, after pulling out the basics from her; like her name, her typical interests, and her experience as a singer.

Drunken, hyena-like laughter fills the air. He is irritated yet, relieved. Finally, she has loosened up. "Tell my secrets to a complete stranger? Do you think me daft, Kol?"

"We've been talking for the past two hours," he points out, "you can't possibly still consider me as a stranger, darling." Of course, as he has planned, he is not the least bit tipsy.

"Ah, but I do. You learnt much about me and yet, all I know about you is your first name." He had learnt that quite possibly, she loved to talk about herself. A little too much though.

This is when, he decides, that he still has one last trick up his sleeve. "You also know of my nature," he shocks her; her wide-eyed expression gives her away. _Vampire_. "Your poor heart," he begins, letting his hand slide down her neck. Almost like…a wicked caress. Her heart, as always, is like a storm inside her chest. "If you're this jittery around monsters _Sundara_, then you might fall prey to one quite soon."

She wants to gasp. To run. And yet, she is fixed in place, like a still doll.

Oh well, too late now.

"I have a feeling that I already am," she whispers to him. He approaches her still, and she lets him, once again. His thumb glides over her bottom lip, lighting a fire in her belly and starting an all-consuming heat between her thighs.

"Dear_ wolf_ girl," he reveals the true length of his knowledge. Mostly because on nights where the moon is full, she fails to show up so that she can sing to him. "What makes me any less of a monster than you are? Certainly, you had to have killed an innocent victim too in order to have activated your werewolf side." She starts to hate how he can say all of _that _with nothing but a smile on his lips.

He speaks of killing as if it is a sport.

He succeeds in trying to break her, little by little. She almost cries at the memory at the life she had taken. An innocent girl, just like herself. And now, she is no more. Just like that. "One life…" she says, "but you have taken countless. And not only that, you feast upon them. As if they are food. As if they don't hold an important place on Earth."

He laughs, devilishly, pulling her closer by fisting her hairs. The sting it causes her arouses her in a strange way. There is lust in her eyes, he notices. "One life versus a thousand?" He rephrases her words. "I'm afraid that it doesn't make you any less of a monster. A life is still a life. A life that will be dearly missed by this fallen mortal's loved ones." Then, she realizes that she is being a complete hypocrite.

He makes her question her long-timed beliefs and once again, the guilt rushes in. She really hadn't thought of it _that _way. Kol knows her better than she knows herself. "We are the same," he continues, wreaking havoc on her heart. "Now," Kol begins, "tell me a secret and perhaps, in exchange, I'll let you go."

Then, she makes a mistake. "And if I refuse?" She challenges him.

"Well," he says, letting his eyes trail the length of her bare skin. "I could always compel it out of you later." He suggests.

_Compulsion_, she had thought that it was all a myth. However, she dares not take her chances. God knows what _else_ Kol would compel her to do. She decides to give in this time. "Fine," she says, crossing her fingers quite tightly. He waits impatiently. "Here's my secret, are you ready to hear it Kol?"

"Of course I am."

"Good, because I will only say it once."

He then gives her a look. _You're pushing your luck, Sundara_. She's frightened, just one more time. "The girl…" she begins, "the girl who's life I took," she admits, satisfying him direly. "She was my friend. Her name was Sasha." Her mind trails off; her eyes become darker as she is lost in some memory.

He feels it then, the later foundation of their bond.

_Pity_.

"I lost control," she admits, holding back her tears. "We were in the woods, on the night of the full moon. She was trying to help me," she sucks in a breath. He hears her heart slow down. "She failed."

And she can see the blood on her hands, as if the scene was happening all over again (_out damned spot, out I say_). It's a pattern, because her parents have left her, her friend has passed on, and the rest of her companions will leave her behind, always. This is why she's built walls around herself.

She gasps. "I've never told that story to anyone before." She realizes.

"Then," he says, smile gone and yet, reappearing once again, "I suppose I should consider myself quite lucky."

And lucky he is.

She doesn't answer him though.

The night passes by quite slowly.

**.**

**/ / /**

They walk out of the bar together; her wild cackles are taking over the night. She leans against him, missing her steps and losing her balance from drinking herself silly. He places her arm around his shoulder for support. His other hand rests on her waist, admiring the way that she has yet to push him away. She hiccups instead, flipping her hair and smiling widely.

"Are you still scared of me?" He questions, tightening his grip on her.

"Yes," she admits. And he thinks, _good_, because she should be scared.

"You'd think that I'd drink from you?"

"You're a monster, why wouldn't you?"

He supposes he could, and he could always make sure that she would not remember it in the morning. But something unknown is stopping him. Perhaps, it's this thought: _time enough for that later_.

Or maybe, he does want her to remember who he is after all (_wake up, little girl, wake up_).

For now, at least.

**.**

**/ / /**

**Tbc**

**/ / /**

**.**

_Le more notes: _Before you start asking any questions, I will just tell you that the majority of this chapter was a flashback. So I don't know if the fact that Kol knew Sundara from even before she was turned by Klaus is a clichéd idea but I tried my best to put my own twist on it. That's why I wrote it in such a strange way. I figured that I want to concentrate on Sundara's past since I did not reveal much about it in the prequel.

Hopefully, you enjoyed this chapter enough to leave me a review!


	2. tell me your secrets and

_Le notes_: I apologize for the delay. You will probably have to blame the fact that I was on holiday (a belated Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim readers). This is_ a_nother flashback chapter! Lyrics are from Coldplay's 'The Scientist'.

**.**

**._.**

**perhaps, someday**

**.**

** ._. **

**ii:**

tell me your secrets and  
ask me your questions,  
oh let's go back to the start  
**.**

**/ / /**

Summer in Denver is hot and sticky.

The sun is high, up in the sky. It bleeds liquid gold as it rises in the morn and stays up until six or seven at night. Like a restless child, like a stubborn teenager, the sun is there all day and almost all evening. Kol blinks, once, twice, and then a third time. He realizes how much he hated the blinding light. He could have spent his entire day locked in his room but Nik had been pestering him about the Gilbert boy's behavior. So instead, Kol's day was wasted, being so friendly towards Jeremy that it was quite scary.

Jeremy talks to him about his sister, his dead parents, his sketching habit that he abandoned, and his overly complicated lovelife (leaving out a few supernatural details, of course).

As expected, Kol finds Jeremy's life is exactly like what Nik had described to him earlier on. Nothing new, nothing fresh.

Perhaps, Kol thinks that he should get a few drinks in to Jeremy's system. See if the boy can provide him with something utterly interesting. Then, he thinks perhaps Jeremy, being a _kind _vampire could be of much interest to a certain wolf girl. It's strange and odd at best. Kol doesn't know why she had quite abruptly popped in to his mind. Regardless, he did still have a point. Sundara might see Jeremy Gilbert and realize that not all vampires are monstrous.

Then again, why did Kol even fathom about her opinion on vampires? On him?

A mist all the confusion, he finds himself back at her bar. He supposes that perhaps, he could bring Jeremy Gilbert some other time. And Nik could shout at him for ignoring his orders. But Kol decides to let that slip as well.

After all, _this _is so much more important.

"Kol," she greets, as he smiles and she fails to return him the favor. "You're back." She simply says, wondering what exactly he is planning.

"I'd never miss one of your shows Sundara." He says, voice revealing nothing but confidence in his tone. She looks as ravishing as ever. A dress soaked in rose colored sparkles (fitting her center-of-attention persona) that barely covered her creamy looking thighs. And her wild curls, loose as always, like a lion's mane. An untamed beast. "Now, take a seat next to me or I will drain the blood out of most of the humans surrounding you."

Her eyes widen. He was…threatening her.

But, she is not silly or daft. So she doesn't say another word. Besides, how long could Kol's game possibly last? She's sure her patience can out do him. Without another word, Sundara sits beside him. Although, she can't say that she doesn't take advantage of the situation.

Since, lucky for her, he was paying for all of the drinks.

"Is this how you make friends?" She asks, after only her second drink and a broken promise of silence from her part.

He cocks a brow at her, trying to convey innocence as he offers her a doe-eyed look. "Whatever do you mean my dear?"

And she courageously rolls her eyes. "By scaring people. Using their weaknesses against them in order for them to grace you with their presence?" He laughs then, as she tries her best to act brave around him. When really, she's scared shitless.

Her heart rate endlessly gives her away.

"_Grace _me with your presence? Do you honestly think so highly of yourself Sundara?" He questions.

She can't help but nod. "Yes actually, I do." Her confidence is border-lining on arrogance.

Easily and perhaps on purpose, she doesn't hide her flaws. And it might be so she could begin to disgust him. So he can simply stop seeing her. Unfortunately for her, Kol quite likes a woman who has a bit of bravado to her. "Careful now sweetheart, awareness of beauty is quite the sin," he warns her this time.

Again, another brave eye-roll is her answer.

"Besides, it's not like I actually want to be your _friend_." He tells her, referring to her earlier statement.

She thinks herself quite clever, because she had known that he would not desire to be her friend from the very beginning. After all, no man who'd desire to be her friend would look upon her with such filthy eyes. Sick pupils that thought of nothing but pinning her under the weight of his body and having his wicked way with her.

"Perhaps," he begins, letting one of his fingers play with her curls (an action that will later feel all too familiar to her). "If you get to know me," he says, eyes consuming her, "maybe you will want to be more than friends with me as well."

His look is over-bearing, mesmerizing even.

She realizes all of this too late, he's compelling her. Lucky for her, he only wanted to talk.

Next time, perhaps, he thinks he won't be so lenient with her.

**.**

**/ / /**

Inevitably, more than a few drinks later, she is willingly spoiling him with rich conversation.

The air between them is toxic. Like a dozen packs Marlboro Lights and many unfinished cans of Heineken's beer.

"I told you a secret," she remembers that strange but revealing conversation she had with him. The one that made her realize that she had not only misjudged him but herself as well. "Now you owe me one too."

He chuckles, noticing the never-wavering weakness in her brown irises. She had appreciated his attention, she really had. "I don't have any." He lies.

"C'mon Kol," playfully, she punches his shoulder. "Don't lie to me." Later, this will become something like a catchphrase of hers. "What's your secret?"

He sighed; he could tell her countless things. He was a man who held a past as destructive as a bomb. Who'd seen the worst of the worst and yet, he'd also seen the best of the best.

This time, when he opens his mouth to speak to her, his arrogance has vanished. She can see a quiet sadness in his eyes. Regret too, betrayal, anger, hurt, and pain. She sucked in a breath; Kol did not look like himself at all.

"A dagger was placed in to my heart and I was locked up in a coffin for about a hundred years." He's monotone but still, he does not fail to hear her heart skip several beats at his revelation. "By my own brother, no less." He continues, despite her wide eyes and jaw on the edge of dropping.

_Sympathy_, he realizes. _Pity_, once again.

He's unaware of exactly why he tells her that secret out of so many. There were about a million other secrets he could tell her. Like the time he had replaced Bekah's breakfast with something the horse shat out. Or the time he had locked the door on Elijah while he had been bathing. Even that moment where he had toyed with Nik's sketches and sold them off as his own would have been a more amusing and interesting secret then what he was currently telling her.

Still, she had offered him her first kill as her secret. Without compulsion, no less. He owed it to her, he thinks.

He expects her to ask him endless questions. About who, what, when, where, and why. Because really, how does one begin to elaborate on the fact that Nik was sometimes borderline psychotic and put his own brother to sleep for over a century. And still, Kol was in Denver, following his cursed brother's orders.

_Family_, he sighs, as he thinks that at least one good thing came out of his short stay in Denver. Sundara offered him a weak smile.

"That's…that's quite the secret." She decides to tell him.

His smirk is back, quite quickly in fact. "Yes, it is." He agrees, "now, you owe me another secret that is just as juicy, wouldn't you agree?"

A sense of anguish takes over, and she feels such softness towards him. He is a man, not a monster after all. A man who was simply betrayed by someone whom he thought he could trust. His own blood.

It makes her think of her parents who left her behind without much of an explanation.

_We are the same._

She recalls him say. So more and more, she starts to agree with him. She begins to see things his way, to understand him.

"Well, out with it," he orders her, nudging her shoulder. "I won't wait forever, sweetheart." His impatience though, is a bit unattractive.

She's quiet, a little lost in thought. "You can't laugh," she tells him. But when he scoffs, she raises both her dark brows. "Kol, I'm serious."

She waves her finger in, what she thinks, is an authoritative way. It's quite adorable, how presumptuous she is. How foolish. And how naïve. Earlier on, he'd just threatened to kill everyone around her and still, she's able to feel a sense of benevolence and charity towards him.

He might just laugh. "Fine," he says, "I'll try my best not too."

"Good." She replies. "And don't tell anyone, okay?"

He finds himself quite intrigued, what in the world could she be hiding so desperately? "Who would I tell?" He teases and right away, she understands what he means.

They really don't have any common acquaintances.

It's quite sad, really.

How two lonely souls, in the midst of Denver, somehow found each other (_again and again_).

"I…" she begins, as nervous as ever. But, she decides that she'd rather have smirking that frowning, really. "I once got caught sneaking a pack of cigarettes in to the orphanage," she admits. It disappoints him; it's not really that big of a revelation compared to what he told her. All it told her is that she had been a smoker at a young age, a bit of a rebel, and very bad at keeping herself concealed.

However, she wasn't done yet.

"The head mistress is very against smoking; lung cancer runs in her family and all. So I actually got spanked by her as punishment."

He can't help it. His face breaks in to a million pieces as he doesn't even try to hold it together. "You're kidding me?" He says, breaking his promise to her and making her furrow her brows. "Like actual, bare ass, skirt and panties pulled down, over the knee, spanking?"

Frustrated, she nods her head.

He laughs, on and on.

"And I thought that this century was much too lenient towards children. I change my mind now; the modern world really isn't so bad." He tells her, making her even angrier as he is amused by her pain. "So then, Sundara," she then regrets telling him anything. Kol really is such a child. "Care to demonstrate exactly where and how hard you were spanked?"

He looks to her, nothing but the eyes of a villain; of a monster (glowing yellow) she realizes that perhaps, she doesn't know a thing about him at all.

**.**

**/ / /**

The bar nears closing time.

Sundara, by now, has emptied out her vault of secrets to this possible stranger/serial killer. However, there was drinking and there was compulsion. And of course, there was that seductive way in which he would look to her from underneath his lashes, and the way he would let his fingers linger on her upper thigh just a bit too long.

It sent fireworks down her stomach.

And so, the secrets continued to be spilled out, all night long.

"I once ate a dish made from dog meat," she sighs, remembering the irony behind eating a creature of your own kind. She hears him laugh and she feels the need to elaborate. "I thought it was chicken though. And the restaurant owners didn't speak English so I guess they failed to explain the ingredients to me."

Luckily for her, a thousand year old vampire has probably done much worse. "I think I once tried to bite in to my horse's arse." He admits, remembering one wild and drunken night with Elijah and Nik. "I had one too many drinks and started thinking that the horse was a human girl." He tells her, drinking some more thanks to the trauma. "But then I got a taste of animal blood, an awful and disgusting taste to be honest. Human blood is so much better than horse blood."

She had heard of those vampires who only drank animal blood, but barely. Still, she found it inhuman, thinking of drained wolves (her pack). She supposes that at least, Kol is not a hypocrite. She then changes the topic before she becomes too lenient towards him. "I don't think I've ever fallen in love," She says, "With anyone! I mean, it's not that I don't want to, because I want to. It's just that…I think I'm scared."

He laughs slightly, and then he hiccups. She finds it…unbecomingly adorable.

She then notices something else: a milky white scar, present on the side of his neck. It's very pale and barely noticeable. But, with the right amount of lighting, she sees it clearly. It looked quite painful. And quite certainly, it must be a scar from a long time ago. Back when he was human.

Still, it left a mark. It was a permanent reminder of pain and suffering.

His eyes follow her gaze and her heart races. She wonders if he will be angered by the rush of sad memories and broken dreams. "You're staring," he simply says without expression.

She blinks, exactly three times. "I'm sorry," she finally tells him, taking a sip from her drink.

He rolls his eyes, he supposes telling her won't make a difference. "My father," he tells her, without even having her ask about it. But clearly, she's curious. "He was quite a temperamental man." Kol reveals and suddenly, she finds herself quite lucky compared to him.

He had been human once. It might have been for a short time but, it still counted for something. And she can't help but feel the endless seas of sympathy. Damn, he really had her. Damn, he really hadn't wanted this immortal life for himself.

"_Was_?" She repeats, sounding as daft as a brush.

He looks quite broken and yet, he offers her an answer. "He's dead now." Kol says, bluntly. "I'd say good riddance however; I can't say that I ever hated him."

She's a bit shocked. So she asks, "how come?"

He drinks some more, figures he needs to be drunken than _this _to actually be honest with himself. "He's my father." Kol simply admits. "My family." He hopes that it's enough for her. It might be, because she thinks of her parents who left her behind and really, no matter how angry she is, she doesn't hate them. "We went fishing together once," Kol continues his story regardless. "And I caught the biggest Sea Bass that he had ever seen. I can't remember the last time that someone had been so proud of me."

It's odd but, something inside of her makes her wish that she could have saved him the pain of having his father turn in to this monster.

No matter how she looked at him, Kol did not seem monstrous to her after all. Perhaps just, misunderstood.

**.**

**/ / /**

The darkness bleeds in soon enough. And they think about parting ways before he catches her by clasping her wrist with his fingers. She's all wide-eyed at this very moment; her heart is doing backflips as she waits for his fangs to elongate themselves. She could run, but if that were her choice then she should have ran a long time ago. The moment she found out that he was a vampire; she should have stayed the fuck away.

But she didn't, and now, she thinks that she must pay. He pulls her closer as his grip around her wrist is tight. As if one simply tug from his side could pull her joints apart. Then, she realizes how weak she is. He is so strong, so invincible, and so sure of himself.

Compared to him, she isn't special at all.

"Why are you scared?" His question catches her by surprise. Quite certainly, she is not so sure about his constant confusion of why she is frightened of a beast like himself. Or perhaps, he isn't talking about himself at all.

She tries to compose herself, swallowing a lump in her throat and asking: "of what?"

"Of falling in love?" She had mentioned it to him earlier. "I mean, I understand if you find love useless, heck I sure do. But frightening? Really?" He smiles then, making a few of her concerns fade away. A realization comes to her. The fact that he wasn't going to attack her at all.

"Yes," she slowly tells him, trying to squirm out of his grip. "It's frightening, because falling for someone can leave you heartbroken, if those feelings you possess for that person are not reciprocated." He frees her then, when he understands just how defenseless she is. Not much of a challenge at all, just another ordinary woman, really. "And I've been abandoned one too many times in the past. Love isn't really what I need, at the moment." He remembers her status then, and suddenly, it's not so funny to him anymore.

_Poor little orphan girl_—

And finally, she says: "I no longer wish to be left behind, Kol."

He looks down, thinking that he cannot uphold the other end of a promise that is so horrifyingly inevitable.

**.**

**/ / /**

**Tbc**

**/ / /**

**.**

_Le more notes :_ Someone had PM'd me asking about the length of this story. I am planning on making it a four-parter, however if I cannot tie things up quick enough, I will probably make it longer. The next chapter is set in the present, where Kol compels Sundara to remember him. So look forward to that and I hope to hear from you real soon!

**_—Xoxo Carter_**


	3. oh love, don't let me go

_Le notes: _Just a reminder that this chapter is set in the present (so where the prequel left off, kind of. Hopefully, you'll get the gist of it as you read along). Lyrics are from Coldplay (again), this time it's Life in Technicolor ii (God, I love their music). Oh and by the way, just a head's up, this chapter does have a bit of an M-rating near the end of it so…be cautious? Then again, who doesn't enjoy a little smut every now and then?

**.**

**._.**

**perhaps, someday**

**.**

** ._. **

**iii:**

oh love, don't let me go  
won't you take me  
where the street lights glow?  
**.**

**/ / /**

She can't describe what it's like to be compelled by him. It doesn't hurt and yet, it's not exactly painless either. It's just a rush that makes you completely and utterly speechless. It's as if her mind used to be a collection of broken and mismatched puzzle pieces, which he has so carefully placed back together. All under a minute, all with one simple and dark gaze.

Her mind is like a maze, fictional memories that he himself had created. He thought that perhaps, he would never see her again.

But, as it turns out, fate had other plans.

So he whispers, "now sleep," she hears an order. She feels a wicked caress glide down her neck (a touch that now feels familiar, and she finally knows why) as he continues, "you will remember everything once you are awake."

She nods and her eyes close shut. He drives off, on the open road, whisking her away with him.

Watching her sleep is a blessing in disguise. Although her snoring is similar to the insufferable hee-hawing of a mule, at least, he thinks, he is safe for now. She won't bite his head off for what he did just yet. But he knows that he had his reasons to make her forget. After all, what good would it do for her to be able to carry with her, the memory of a man, who brings nothing but misery everywhere he goes? He had to leave Denver anyway, it was only temporary, and he knew that _this _would never last. Because Kol Mikaelson and nice things? Really? It even sounds wrong. He's never been happy for too long anyway.

Perhaps, because he thinks that he doesn't deserve to be.

So Nik had pulled him back in to the darkness that is Mystic Falls, it didn't mean that he had to pull her in to his web as well.

Kol had left her behind so she wouldn't have to get mixed in with such a cruel and broken world. However, she seems to be very unlucky at the game of life. Or perhaps, this was fate's way of playing a cruel joke on him. Of taking the one thing that he thought was pure, the one person who was presumptuous enough to think him human. And now, there she was right beside him.

A girl in pieces.

Oh, how cruel fate can be.

**.**

**/ / /**

She is alone in bed, looking around the room for something to hit him with when he will come out. She is angry but, she can't say that she hates him for what he did.

She understands.

Kol thought that she was better off not knowing him. And she was, she really was. Klaus was unpredictable at best, what would he do if he knew his brother was messing around again? And this girl, if Kol hadn't saved her, would she have winded up dead? Like the _others_? He steps out of the shower then, scared of the thought of losing her.

The look in her eyes might just mean that he is.

His gaze is fixed on her and she really can't stand the way he does _that_. It makes the sweat drip down her pits, makes her skin feel like it's on fire, like she just wants to tear all her clothes off.

It stings, it burns.

His smirk is the worst. Just the right amount of confidence and timidity. She feels like the girl she used to be, before Klaus had turned her. A girl so naïve and foolish. To think that this monster who'd killed mercilessly, could make her feel so special. As if, she is the only thing in the world. As if she is made of miracles and sparkles.

And never has her poor little orphan self ever felt this wanted. It's kind of nice to be put first for once.

To not have to be left behind.

"I swear," she says, pointing a finger at him. "Sometimes, it's like you have hands for eyes!" She exclaims, hating the way he would look to her. As if he's peeling her clothes off with his mind. Pulling at her limbs and leaving a hot trail of something that she wishes she could explain. And oh, how it makes him laugh. "This is no laughing matter."

He knew she'd be angry, who wouldn't be in such a situation?

He keeps on laughing, like the fool he is.

"I said to stop!" She exclaims, tossing her arms in the air. "What is so funny anyway? That you got to me before I got to you?" He can't help but agree with her assumption. She rolls her eyes. "You think you've won, don't you?" He does, because lately, he's been on a losing streak. And it felt good to have her so tangled up, for once. "Well you haven't!" She vows, getting to her feet.

"And why is that?" He questions, bravely.

She turns to him, eyes burning. She can't shake the feeling that he's going to kiss her again. She really doesn't think that she could take it if he did. Her heart just spins a little too fast whenever he touches her. "Because I'll leave you!" She claims.

He raises a brow. "And go where?" She really doesn't know, but she won't let it show. He smiles. "Do you even know where you are?"

"No," she says, "but I can find my way." A clear lie, because she really hadn't brought much with her to help her find her way. She even threw her cellphone away so Niklaus would have no way of contacting her. But she is as confident as ever.

He catches her wrist, in a familiar way. It's crazy how he made things between them go from scary to awkward to hot in so little time.

"C'mon now darling," he begins, pulling her close. "Just accept defeat, why don't you? You can't win this round Sundara, not against me." She wants to deny him, with every fiber in her being, because she's always been a winner. The smartest girl at her orphanage and the only one who never really cried.

And she really envied how powerful Kol could be.

Without even trying.

She could only wish to be as strong as him. Only in her wildest dreams. "Just," she takes her wrist back and glares at him. "Leave me alone!"

Still, he keeps wearing his smile. "I think you like the fact that I knew you before you knew me." He says, brimming with arrogance. "That I was so enchanted by you. So intrigued." And once again, he is so close that if she just takes one more step towards him, their lips would be touching all over again. "It makes you feel powerful, confident. That you had an original vampire so starstruck by your singing, your beauty, your—"

She let the fact that he was acting so sure of himself over shadow all of that. "I don't like any of it! You can't play with my memories Kol, they're the only thing that I have left!"

Her memories are the only thing she thought that no one could take from her. Because Niklaus had stolen her freedom, her morals, beliefs, but she always had her thoughts and opinions.

And now, she found out that those could be altered too. By the hands of someone she thought she could trust.

If he were a better man, he'd think about apologizing. But instead, he just lets her be hurt.

"You know I did it for your own wellbeing." He claims.

"Then, maybe you were right all along," she tells him, turning on her heel and walking away. "Perhaps, I was better off not knowing you at all." This was quite ignorant of her, to say the least. She knew why he made her remember, he thought that perhaps, she deserved to know.

Still, he is offended by her words, so with his God-like speed, he presses himself right against her back. His arm is strong around her waist and she feels as if he has set flames upon her skin. Like always, she has yet to push him away. "Is that so?" He asks, letting his breath linger on her neck.

"Yes," she claims, locking eyes with him.

"So push me away then," he challenges, "I dare you to." He continues.

Sundara looks down, scrunching her nose in a simple way that he found quite adorable.

"Do it," he orders. "Push me away." He impatiently says.

"What if I don't?" She asks, angrily. "You'll just compel me again?"

He gets it now, the fact that she had lost her trust in him. "Only if you want me to do so, darling." He says to her instead. "But, the thing is, I think you're just stalling for time. So you don't have to push me away at all." It kills her, how right he is about her. "You want me to stay." He leans in then, trying to close the space in between them.

"No," she insist, attacking his chest with her weak arms. "I want you to go." Sundara says, with false conviction. She grabs a first full of his shirt to try and threaten him.

He wants to laugh, how could she ever be able to scare him? "Liar."

Instantly, she's bothered by the comment. That's the word that she'd use against him. How dare he use it on her? "You're the liar!" She decides, recalling how he was the one who had used compulsion on her. And not the other way around.

"The clock's ticking sweetheart," he breaks her away from her train of thought. "Either push me away," Kol whispers to her, "or say yes."

Another dare, another challenge. She's so tired of the push and pull between them. Maybe, just maybe, she should just give in.

"No," she still says. And then, he captures both her wrists in between his fingers.

Her heart races as he is on the edge of letting his lips press against her own. "Say it."

Her cheeks flush, she lets her guard down when she realizes he's not going to compel her to do anything, ever again. She bites her lip, looking to his feet in order to distract herself from her scattered thoughts. Half of her, still trying her best to deny herself of him. And the other half, wanting him to push her up against these motel walls, pull her skirt off, and have his filthy way with her.

So she breathes in and chooses the latter. "Yes," she releases, softly.

He smiles triumphantly. "What's that Sundara?" He lifts her chin up with the tip of his thumb. "I'm afraid that I didn't quite hear you." He says to her.

And this time, she will look him dead in the eyes. "I said yes."

She tells him again, unable to offer him a smile in return. He kisses her regardless of it all. "You've made the right choice," she hears his raspy voice, and before she can argue against him, his lips are on hers all over again.

**.**

**/ / /**

He is everywhere,

—ghosting over her thighs, with a touch so feather-light but heated, like fire treading on iced waters. Like thorns on rose petals and cactus stems on her skin, sharp but painless. He is touching, and exploring and bruising with rough fingertips. Nothing but kisses, wet, wild, and all-consuming. Like flames, like a drug.

He trails his nose up her abdomen, inhaling her scent like a line of cocaine. Her breath hitches and she arches her back. She calls his name, like an anthem, like a hymn.

And sometimes, she hates how easily she gives in to him.

She hates the way she moans and whimpers, without even putting up a fight. She can't stand the way her hands weave in to his hair, beckoning him closer. And allowing him to let his mouth linger along the skin over her hip bone. There is a spot he finds, sending her right over the edge. He captures her skin between his teeth, the slight pain nearing on pleasure. Such a sweet and perfect balance of both.

She wonders how he's mastered such a technique.

But she forgets that he is a thousand years old, and ever-so experienced.

Yet, he is everywhere,

—in between her arms and legs, whispering promises that will make her beg for his touch as he lays kisses down her back. She would never beg though, but she does plea. Because his breath is hot on her face, and his finger curls inside of her, making her release an _ohyeahrightthere_.

He pins her to the bed, and fucks, and spins her. Until all she can do is breathe his name, until all she _wants_ to do is have him inside of her. But he is skilled and patient, and he'll wait, if he has to.

Until finally, he has her. Like a puppet-master and his marionette. She feels so helpless and so mad with lust under his fixed gaze. So vulnerable and exposed. So she just says: _"please."_

She feels his lips forming a smirk as he kissed her jawline. _"Please what?" _He can't help but ask, with nothing but maliciousness in his tone. She finds his eyes beautiful, despite the way that his irises swim in evil. He is demanding and derisive. It's all kinds of wrong because she actually finds herself enjoying _it_.

_"Please," _she repeats, pressing her hips closer to his own. She is trapped between his chest and the soft mattress. But the way in which his fingers dance over her collar bone is oh-so distracting. _"Please just…do what you want with me."_

He chuckles; as if the pieces of the puzzle have all fallen in to place. As if everything is going according to plan.

She gasps when he thrusts inside of her.

Her face, all wide-eyed and her mouth is gaped open. He bruises her thighs with the strength of his fingers, but she heals all too quickly. Her fangs are out the moment he threatens to silence her with his bite. However, he knows that she is intrigued, because moments later, she bares her neck to him.

And her lips say nothing, but her eyes say _"just do it."_

He takes her then.

**.**

**/ / /**

She's terrified by him, but she also can't help the fact that her heart _races_ every time that she's near him. She really does believe that it is not just because she's frightened.

There's something more.

It's the fact that _no one else _has ever made her feel so afraid and yet, so at ease with them, at the same time. He's like a disease.

It's the way he talks to her, as if she is the only girl in the world. As if he doesn't need anyone else in his life. As if, she is more than enough. He makes her feel _wanted_, and she dares to say that no one's really talked to her in such a way before he came along.

It's the way he smiles at her; evil and childish and joyful.

"Can't resist," he whispers, his arms still strong around her waist. He holds her like a lover. "Or can you?" his voice is in her ear, _always_.

"Just shut up." She orders, closing her eyes, trying to get some sleep.

It's the way he looks at her. As if she's beautiful and made of fire, light, and wishes, and dreams. As if she _deserves _to be loved (but she disagrees, because she's never been loved before). And yet, she knows that he is capable of snapping her in half, of making her scream and beg all over again. However, he makes her throw her head back in laughter. And he's kind in ways that she can't understand.

He is unlike anyone or anything that she has ever known.

It's the way he holds her, making her feel safe and sound. Like nothing could ever hurt her. A grasp so tight and firm, but his arms are soft and limp. They fit perfectly around her, like a warm winter coat.

Finally, she breathes.

"I won't leave you." He tells her with such honesty and tenderness, that he almost makes her cry. "I won't _ever_ leave you behind." He kisses her head, his lips tickling her hairs, and she thinks that he's much too cruel. Because _his words _are exactly what a girl with abandonment issues needs to hear.

She's scared of him, she really is. Her heart races with fear when he's around and yet, it also beats just as fast when he kisses her. It's a mix of emotions, terrifying and comforting.

And sometimes, she just can't tell the difference anymore.

**.**

**/ / /**

**Tbc**

**/ / /**

**.**

_Le more notes: _For your information yes, that was my idea of a smut scene. I try not to be predictable. I prefer being…unexpected. Here's hoping that you're not too disappointed that I wasn't extra graphic (but I really don't know how to write porno, unfortunately).

Next chapter will include Eliah and Rebekah so stay tuned for that!

**_—Xoxo Carter_**


End file.
